Oh wow, am I so happy to be doing this right now!! It's been so long well it always is for some reason. I don't know why it takes months for me to start another blog. Especially because lately I've had so much to say. I think that's why. There's so much to say and I sometimes feel like its overwhelming, then procrastination sets in. That's one of my struggles. And really one that I'm asking God for help with. But then God tells me to help myself. Yes He will speak to you that way when He's given you all the tools necessary for success and you well (me) don't take advantage of them. I've even studied a bit on procrastination and why if affects people (me). There are some psychological reasons and even reasons that have to do with the persons past and how they were raised. There are also self esteem issues that cause procrastination and then there's just plain lazy. I don't consider myself lazy. Like I was saying in another blog, life challenges you and its up to you to make the best of it. Its up to you to figure out what you need to do, make it a priority and do it. So when I said that God let me know that I needed to help myself, I believe He meant, um hey you want me to help you with not procrastinating, but what are you doing to help me help you. In other words, you um lets say have a job for instance, but being on time is something YOU have to do. I remember I use to complain about this particular job, and clearly I was still employed there because of Gods grace. Because I would get there late, I would come back late from lunch, I would complain and sometimes move slow... then one day YEARS later ( I was on this job for 13 years) I remember talking to God and telling Him how I was fed up with the job, and how it didn't match the vision I had for myself which was to one day work for myself. And He showed me how I was coming to work late, He reminded me how I wasn't walking in, in the morning with a grateful spirit....He just showed me myself! So I began to change. I started coming in, early. I stopped joining in with the other co workers when they would have complain parties. I literally changed my mentality to where I was pleasantly happy during the drive to work. This wasn't easy but I knew if I wanted my situation to change then I had to change. And guys it took some years, I cannot lie. I thought the job was suppose to change for me instead of ME changing for ME.. I thought a raise would make me happier.. it didn't. I thought when I bought the new car (because of the job) it would make me happy... it didn't well I mean I liked the car, well you know what I mean. That was because I didn't change the inside of me. My thinking and what I thought about myself, didn't reflect what I wanted for me and those things had to line up. SO I just began to dress better, eat better, take care of myself BETTER and eventually, I left the job. On very good terms. I was missed so much when I left and I can go back to this day and be received with open arms (smile). Of course there's more to this story. It's incredible what happed when I left and but I have to save that for another day!
NOW I can get back to what we were talking about a few months ago...